Who is Batman?

Batman isn’t really a bat…..He’s just a man…  He hasn’t even been bitten by a bat…unlike Spiderman, who was bitten by a spider.  Batman doesn’t even have a pet bat, or even any friends who own a bat, or really anything to do with bats at all, apart from a strange fetish to dress like a bat and pretend he’s a bat.  In fact, I would go so far as to say that Batman hasn’t even ‘seen’ a real bat,……not even at the zoo.  He may have seen one on the National Geographic channel while watching his BatTV, but I would suspect this is the closest he has come to meeting a real bat.   If he didn’t wear that costume, he really should just be called……man…  Oh, thank god MAN.  It’s great your here MAN. They ran that way MAN.  See, it still works?